I am slowly going crazy…

Have you ever noticed how a rainy day has the potential to drive kids crazy?  Maybe it’s being cooped up in the house.  Maybe it’s something to do with the atmosphere.  Who knows?  All I know is some days I’m ready to jump onto the back of the crazy wagon and run away to the funny farm.

It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of the present moment that we lose the big picture.  I know.  I’ve been there.  I’ve had crying kids hanging off my leg while dinner burned in the oven and the phone rang off the hook.  That always seems to coincide with Kaitlyn wanting to cuddle and have some serious one on one time.  Some days two hands do not seem like enough!

Many nights I go to bed beating myself up for missed opportunities, for losing my cool when I’m asked the same question for the millionth time, wondering if I’m expecting too much or settling for too little.

Despite all these misgivings I am convinced as a parent I need to take every opportunity to prepare my child for tomorrow.  I need to use every moment to reinforce how much God loves her and how he has a plan for her life, a plan only she can fulfill.  Large decisions loom ahead and she needs to have self-confidence, faith, and wisdom to navigate through middle school, high school, college, university, and marriage.  I have the privilege of passing on Godly values by modeling a lifestyle that seeks God’s presence and guidance every day.

How does that look in my life?  I start each day in God’s Word.  Kaitlyn knows I rise before everyone else to have some time alone with God.  She also knows I come into her room at night and pray for her.  Many times she has awakened in the middle of my prayer and with a sleepy smile snuggled into her blankets whispering, “Thank you, Mom.”

I believe Lloyd John Ogilvie had it right when he said, “It’s can’t happen through you if it hasn’t happened to you.”  I’m nourishing my relationship with God and cherishing the time I’ve set aside for Him so that Kaitlyn sees the difference it’s made in my life.  I pray that one day it will also make a difference in her life.

That doesn’t mean dinner will never burn or my patience won’t ever run thin again.  Trust me, it has and it does.  But it does mean I’ll have someone to turn too in those hairy moments of life and I’ll have the opportunity model what a real dependence on God looks like.

2 thoughts on “I am slowly going crazy…

  1. Steph says:

    You are a fantastic mom and you do such a great job with my kids too! As always, I’m very thankful that you take on the crazy so that I can go to work! My kids love being with you!


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