A new year stretches before me. 365 days of opportunity. The blank page full of possibilities. Will this be the year my agent circulates my book among publishing houses? Will my one year contract with the MB Herald be renewed for another year? Will we install new windows in our drafty home?
God willing, it will be a year of hugs, kisses, smiles and laughter.
On days like this, as I ponder the joy of maybe, the awesome responsibility of the absolutes hit home.
I am blessed to have three soft and pliable souls under my care. I don’t wonder if I will mother this year – I know. But the catch is, these kids don’t really belong to me. They are on loan from God. And He really cares about how I raise His kids.
That thought overwhelms. My knees buckle. No knows better than I how unworthy and ill-equipped I am for this task.
God entrusts five additional children to me as their parents work. Five more souls shaped by my responses. My tone of voice. My ability extend grace and love.
My knees ache but I remain. Bowed at His feet. Confessing my need. My lack. Dependent on Him.
This year, this blank page waiting to be written doesn’t need a book, a contract, or windows to be a success. It won’t be limited to kisses, hugs and happiness. There will be tears.
But hopefully, when I sit here next year writing a post at the beginning of 2014, I will not think in terms of achievement. I will think in terms of relationship. Am I closer to God? Do I trust Him more fully? Did I praise Him in the good and bad? Did my example illustrate to my children what it looks like to walk with Him?
You might remember my Thanksliving list – 1000 reasons to be thankful. This year my list is about possibilities. 365 positive choices I can make that God might use to change me or to change those around me. Today is the 3rd day of the year so we start with the top three:
- Instead of housework, I spent some time with my youngest playing trains. I pray this time together enforces how much I love him, cherish him and value these short but precious days.
- I responded with gentleness. I pray this is how my children remember their childhood. Gentle tones. Loving looks. Peaceful home. Patience. Fruit I desire for them.
- We turned off the T.V. and invented. Marble runs. Lego. Snow forts. Snacks. We engaged our imaginations where anything is possible. I pray for the energy to remain involved with my children in a joyful and encouraging way.