I was sitting at the dining room table reading online articles when it happened. God stitched two seemingly unrelated stories together with the Holy Spirit’s thread. One about gluttony and one about paying off debt. God convicted me of sin in that miraculous moment—that moment when my ears tuned into His voice, ready to listen. I heard from God loud and clear.
Sin hid behind an attitude of need.
The truth is, I need far less than I think. My kids need far less than I think. We live in a society that is constantly bombarding us with the lie that we need more. And I believed it.
Supersized meals. Homes with rooms we never or rarely use. Closets of overflowing clothes.
Previously, I’ve likened gluttony to how I feel after Christmas dinner. Stuffed beyond belief. But I’ve been tossing the idea around that biblical gluttony is anything in excess.
“At its simplest, gluttony is the soul’s addiction to excess.” ~The Socially Acceptable Sin, by RELEVANT Magazine.
That brings gluttony far closer to home than I like. Especially right now, as our family searches for a new home in a city more expensive than our last. And now I wrestle with some uncomfortable questions:
Do I really need a bigger kitchen? Do I need more space – or just want it? What are our real, actual, bare bones needs in a new home?
I hate to admit it, but I don’t like the answer.
I’m learning that I want far more than I need. I want to be comfortable. I want to have space. I want, I want, I want. What I need is to want what God wants. To be satisfied with His provision. To praise God in the plenty and the want. To refuse to allow material things or circumstances dictate my happiness.
Because the real truth is, some of God’s greatest blessings are hiding behind that thing that is difficult to surrender.
Does that mean I’m going to stop praying for a house big enough to give our kids enough space to play, to be located on a street where it is safe to ride a bike, in a neighbourhood where they can make friends? No. I’m not going to stop praying for that. But, I am also praying that in the end, I will want what God wants for our family – whatever that may be, and rejoice in His provision of it.
May I lay it all down, hold nothing back, not even my silent hopes and dreams, giving it all to the One who has already granted me far more than I deserve, to do with as He sees fit. Lord prepare my heart to receive your gift with joy.