This morning Kaitlyn and her Sunday school class decorated a Christmas tree on stage while their teacher read a narrative. Kate was very proud to be the chosen one to put the star on top on the tree. She looked beautiful in her new dress sent from family in England.
Kate and I slipped out of church early to give her some down time before we were off to see her brothers again this afternoon. We came home, had a tea party, put together a few puzzles and she beat me soundly in chess. When Kevin returned from church he had just enough time to change his clothes, scarf down some lunch and we were on the road again.
When we arrived at Foster Nanny’s house I rang the bell and heard squeals of laughter inside shouting, “Mommy, Daddy here! Mommy, Daddy here!” In no time at all we loaded the boys into the van and followed Foster Nanny and her son to the Christmas Party.
The party was fun. The kids we able to sit on Santa’s lap and received a wrapped gift, a stuffed bear, and a bag of candy. Afterwards there was a vocalist that got many of the kids off their seats and dancing to Christmas tunes.
Kate was thrilled with the Zoobles she received from Santa. Jonathan was ecstatic when he opened his army truck and Nicholas was happy with his fire truck until he saw what Jonathan got – then it was tears and temper. But Daddy saved the day eventually convincing him the fire truck was great.
Overall the visit was fantastic. Foster Nanny is doing a great job stepping back and redirecting the boys to us for tickles and laughs and cuddles. When we brought the boys back to Foster Nanny’s house they cried their little eyes out over having to say good-bye. It breaks our hearts a little more each day that we have to leave them behind. Five days to go…
There is really only one word to describe today’s visit – difficult. We sometimes find ourselves in an awkward parenting situation. We know we are the parents of these boys, but since we haven’t been the primary caregivers in their life we don’t always feel the freedom to speak up, especially when we are in their foster home and the kids need to honor those house rules.
The boys have come a long way in responding positively to our correction and guidance, but today we landed in an awkward moment when Foster Nanny disciplined one of the boys for something we didn’t think was a big deal. I suspect the boys feel confused by the difference between our house rules and the foster home rules. I keep telling myself it’s only one more week…
We went to the outdoor Ridgeway Christmas event which is not an event I’ll be returning to next year. We waited an hour and a half for a five-minute horse and buggy ride, the only activity we participated in. Again, since we were tagging along with the foster household we didn’t feel ditching the event and finding something more engaging for the kids to do would be polite. By the time the buggy ride was finished all our kids had expressed frustration and tears over the long wait. We could hardly blame them when we felt much the same.
I feel overwhelmed with the thought of another whole week of dragging all the kids back and forth everyday between our homes. What they all really needed today was a quiet day in, a long afternoon nap, and a snuggle with mom and dad. But those days are sure to come.
Both boys had crying fits when they understood we were taking them back to Nanny’s after such a short visit today. I wish there was a way to speed up the process of moving them into our home, but in reality two weeks is quite quick. I keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time. Kaitlyn had her own crying fit on the drive home venting her frustration over the Christmas event that was nothing like she expected it to be.
Currently Katie is sleeping (at 4:42 in the afternoon!). We will probably pay for that later tonight but she really needed to rest. We normally lead a fairly slow-paced and quiet life and this past week has exhausted her. Tomorrow her Sunday school class performs in church and we may be sneaking out immediately afterwards to give her some downtime before we hit the road again for tomorrow’s visit. Six days left and counting…
Today’s visit was a series of baby steps. Much like when Kaitlyn learned to walk we saw bold strides forward, staggering steps, and a few stumbles. The boys arrived at 4pm and seemed a bit out of sorts. They wanted to play outside. Then they didn’t. Then they did, and on and on…
We eventually came inside and played downstairs. It was all fairly uneventful. We ate a surprisingly quiet dinner and had a few power struggles which resulted in both boys choosing to sulk (much to their sister’s amusement). However they were easily drawn out of their pout and back into interaction with us.
After dinner we got all three kids into their jammies and watched Frosty the Snowman. Nicholas made a charge toward me and almost knocked the breath from my lungs as he knocked me back and cuddled in for about half the movie. His contentment in my lap was a nice surprise since he normally looks to Kevin for cuddles.
Kaitlyn slept the whole way to Fort Erie and both boys hummed in their car seats an off-tune rendition of Jingle Bells. When we arrived Foster Nanny was not home so we played in the front seats of the van while waiting for her. Our final surprise came when both boys didn’t want to say goodbye to us tonight. We drove home a bit stunned at how quickly their loyalty is shifting from Foster Nanny to us.
After a plethora of hugs and kisses Nicholas sat on the floor with his back to us, mad that we would dare leave him. Jonathan wouldn’t let go of our legs and dragged out the good-bye as long as possible. Kaitlyn giggled at their antics.
It’s not that we are happy they are sad to see us go, but it gives us hope that the transition can be made and they will both settle into our home. We are seeing small steps forward. One day at a time.
Today was our first full day with the boys and we got a glimpse of what life will be like from now on. They arrived by 9:30 am and Kevin drove them back to Foster Nanny for 6:30 pm already in their jammies and ready for bed.
All in all it was a good day. We got to see a bit more of their personalities’ and we are happy to report we are getting two wonderful boys. The day wasn’t without its challenges, but it was also full of rewards.
Kate stayed home from school this morning to play with them and our case worker arrived about 11am to see how things were going. We had a terrific morning.
After lunch Kevin went to work and Kaitlyn went to school and Mommy went insane. The boys had a not so quiet ‘quiet’ time. In no way will they ever nap in the same room again! They stayed in their room an hour and fifteen minutes totally against their will. I could hardly contain my laughter as I listened to them over the monitor scheming and playing.
After picking up Katie from school we did a few errands and came home to read books and play downstairs before dinner. All the kids ate a good meal and Kevin reported all three promptly fell asleep before he hit the highway.
Jonathan and Nicholas have crept into my heart these last few days and have each claimed a spot for themself. Life will never be the same again, but neither will I.
Today was the first time the boys came to our place. Foster mom dropped them off, came in to see their new room, and said good-bye. They were so taken with their new toys in their room they didn’t fuss when she left. That was an unexpected surprise.
We went to the mall, visited Santa and had a photo taken of the kids with him. We enjoyed the mild weather and played in the backyard (they loved the playhouse and trampoline!). We cuddled on the couch and watched Handy Manny and The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and we dined on Kaitlyn’s favorite meal, chicken nuggets and fries.
It all felt very normal and nice. They boys played really well together, with Kaitlyn, or alone. They liked their room and responded well to our house rules.
Despite Nicholas’ happy disposition and easy manner it is clear the stress of travelling between two homes is affecting him the most. This will not be an easy transition for him.
Kaitlyn still likes her brothers (phew!). We have noticed she desires a bit more cuddle time with mom and dad at the end of the day. It’s an adjustment for everyone.
Tomorrow we go back to their foster home to have dinner with them and put them to bed. Kaitlyn is able to be part of the remaining visits – which is great. The daily visits are easing her into the big sister role a little bit at a time.
Today we picked the boys up with plans to go to an outdoor Christmas event in their community with their foster family. However Foster Nanny mixed up the dates and we found ourselves in downtown Ridgeway a week early with nothing to do. As a result we snuck away for a few hours of alone time with the boys.
We went to the park, to McDonald’s, and to Wal-Mart. Nothing really special, but our time together was wonderful. We received many compliments on our cute, well-mannered boys.
The boys have never really had a father figure in their life so they have really taken to Kevin. We heard a lot of “Daddy fix it.” and “Daddy do it please.” At one point I was walking towards the park with both boys and Kev decided to drive the van around to snag a closer parking spot. Jonathan looked up and asked, “Where’s Daddy going?” then called back with a wave, “Bye Daddy!” A bit earlier I stepped out of the van and Nicholas cried because, “Mommy was leaving.” They are taking to us really well.
At the same time we can see their happiness when we return them to Foster Nanny and the security they find in her home. I feel so blessed knowing they have been loved and cherished by their foster family the last two years. The attachment they have will make the transition very hard when they realize they will not be returning to her after the 10th. Please pray for their young minds and hearts to understand that they haven’t been abandoned by her.
This upcoming week they start visiting in our home, making it a bit easier on us and a bit harder on them – another transition that needs prayer.
Kate’s excited they are coming over tomorrow. She was at a birthday party today so she missed our visit but got some great one on one time with Oma. Thanks for checking in so frequently. It’s wonderful to see so many people following along with us. Kevin assures me he has a post coming soon.
