Who are you?

The characters in my upcoming novel, To Belong Together, latched onto that question without my permission.

I set out to write a story about belonging, but John and Erin kept having conversations like this one:

“You’re John Kennedy, drummer for one of the biggest bands in the country.”

He shook his head as if to disagree, then laughed quietly. “And you’re Erin Hirsh, girl mechanic.”

“I’m a woman and a technician.”

His nod seemed a little smug, as though he’d anticipated her objection. “And a niece, cousin, and spitfire, but I bet daughter matters most.”

A spitfire? Okay, she deserved that, and he didn’t say it like an insult. Plus, he was right. Her role as daughter mattered most. Before Dad’s mind fell prey to dementia, he’d been the only person to understand and accept her. She didn’t belong with anyone the way she belonged with him.

Who will I be when he’s gone, God?

Do you see how seamlessly Erin’s thoughts progressed from roles to belonging to identity?

The three are connected. The identity we claim strongly influences where we believe we belong, and it’s all too easy to identify ourselves by the roles we fill.

Unfortunately, roles come and go. That’s why, when we base our identity on them, they can only provide a temporary sense of belonging—one that’s cast into upheaval when change comes, as Erin is experiencing.

But there is a secure, unchanging anchor for a person’s identity.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8, ESV

The unchanging, loving God crafted us with attention and purpose. (see Psalm 139:14 and Psalm 138:8)

He died on the cross so we could have a right relationship with Him.

When we believe in Him, we become His children, and that is an identity that will never change.

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. 1 John 3:1, ESV

I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. John 10:28, ESV

Operating from that identity, believers needn’t fear the other changes that come our way. In Christ, we will always have belonging.

John and Erin’s story helped me explore all of this, but as I look back on the story, I realize there’s another character who quietly lives out this example better than any other: Erin’s father.

The one with dementia.

Though his disease has progressed before the story starts, Erin recalls him telling her earlier on that he was willing to walk whatever road God assigned because anything God assigns, He walks His children through.

I think the willingness to accept such a difficult assignment points to a man who was secure in his identity as a beloved child of God. He was confident that even dementia, which threatened not only his roles in life but also his mind, couldn’t separate him from his God.

We live in an uncertain world, and we fill many, many roles over the course of a lifetime. If it’s the comfort and security of true belonging we’re after, then the only place we’ll find it is in Christ. When we base our identities in Him, we, like Erin’s father, needn’t fear any call, challenge, or change.

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Fame and money have a way of complicating love.

Drummer John Kennedy can keep a beat, but he can’t hold a conversation, so he relies on actions to show he cares. Unfortunately, when he’s instantly intrigued by a spunky female mechanic, he can’t seem to convey the sincerity of his intentions. And the rejections don’t stop there. His own sister is pushing him away just when he could help her most.

Erin Hirsh’s life would be easier if God hadn’t given her a love for cars. Only her father understood her, and she’s losing him to dementia. Her brief romances have always backfired worse than a mistuned engine, and she refuses to give John the chance to wreck her heart. A rock star with a supermodel ex can’t possibly see anything in her.

At least that’s what she thinks until they find common ground in faith and their worsening family situations leave them each longing for a place to belong. Could God intend for this pair of opposites to belong together?

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Emily Conrad writes contemporary Christian romance that explores life’s relevant questions. Though she likes to think some of her characters are pretty great, the ultimate hero of her stories (including the one she’s living) is Jesus. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their energetic coonhound rescue. Learn more about her and her books at emilyconradauthor.com.

To Belong Together, releasing 2/28/22, is the second novel in the Rhythms of Redemption Romances, where each story follows one member of the rock band Awestruck. Pre-order the ebook for the discounted price of $2.99 from major online retailers.