I’m a mess.
I’m overflowing in sin. Scattered. Self-absorbed. Over-eager. Prideful, just to name a few things.
God has done such a tremendous work in my life, in my marriage, and in my family over these past few months that I had begun to feel like I was finally getting it. God had taught me so much about not boxing Him in, that I didn’t notice that brick by brick I had done exactly that. Again.
So God blew the walls out.
It made a mess. Really. Made me a mess.. At one point I sat in my seat at Harvest University with quiet tears rolling down my face as God freshly revealed the true state of my heart. My pride-filled, unrepentant, self-absorbed heart. My I-want-my-way toddler style tantrums. I saw my tendency to justify selfish choices, to withdrawal, to escape tension in how I parent, how I relate to family, how I handle stress.
But a beautiful mess.
Only God can take a mess like me and build something beautiful. Only God redeems regret, defeat and history. Only God. And He has given me glimpses of who He wants me to be, of who He is shaping me to become. I know I can’t do it on my own. That’s the beautiful part. It’s by His strength and His power that it is accomplished in a humble, willing and desperate heart. Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute.
I am so thankful for His grace. His amazing grace. That takes the old away. The new has come. I am a new creation.
I am a Child of the One True King! I hope Matthew West’s video encourages you as much as it encourages me. What a great reminder of who we are, and WHOSE we are!