I’ve never counted, but I imagine the number of times I’ve been asked that question by Moms with one or two children is somewhere in the hundreds. I have five children, and judging by the look on the tired and weary faces that pose the question, that number seems simply impossible.How do you do it?
Those are five loaded words. I suppose because the “it” behind that question is different for everyone.
How do you care for five little people?
How do you operate on little sleep?
How do you keep them safe?
How do you find time to do the laundry?
How do you afford them?
How do you keep from losing your ever-loving mind?
Mommas of one and two children – I understand every one of these questions. And, I understand just where you’re coming from.There are some things I want you to know about me. About children. About this journey through motherhood that we’re both on.
Sarah lives in Raleigh, North Carolina with her husband, Jason, her four boys and her baby girl. She is really disorganized, she doesn’t make her bed, and she yells at her kids too much. She don’t garden, sew, craft, or read – so you’ll rarely find anything about those topics on her blog. She doesn’t do so many things, so when you read her stories, look at her photos, and bookmark her recipes, she hopes you’ll see a girl who shares what she does well, but is hopelessly flawed in many other ways.
Despite all that, she is loved – forever loved – by a God so big and beautiful that He came down to earth just to know her. She lives for Jesus – and her heart belongs to Him.
FACT: If your children can’t read by age four there is a 95% chance they will end up homeless and on drugs.
FACT: If your children eat any processed food there is an 85% chance they will contract a rare, most likely incurable disease, by age 12.
FACT: If you’re not up at dawn reading the Bible to your children, you are most likely a pagan caught in the clutches of witchcraft.
FACT: If your children watch more than 10 minutes of television a day there is 75% chance they will end up in a violent street gang by age 17.
Obviously, the “facts” listed above are not true (at least, I don’t think they are). But, I’ve noticed that the Internet has made it much easier for people, and moms in particular, to compare themselves to each other. Now, just to be clear, this is not a post against “mom blogs”, or whatever they’re called. If you write a mom blog, that’s cool with me. This is a post to encourage the moms who tend to freak out and feel like complete failures when they read the mom blogs and mom Facebook posts.
Moms, Jesus wants you to chill out about being a mom. You don’t have to make homemade bread to be a faithful mom. You don’t have to sew you children’s clothing to be a faithful mom. You don’t have to coupon, buy all organic produce, keep a journal, scrapbook, plant a garden, or make your own babyfood to be a faithful mom. There’s nothing wrong with these things, but they’re also not in your biblical job description.
Your job description is as follows:
Love God. This simply means finding some time during the day to meet with the Lord. It doesn’t have to be before all the kids are awake. It doesn’t have to be in the pre-dawn stillness. Your job is to love God. How you make that happen can look a million different ways.
Love your husband (unless you’re a single mom, of course). Your second job is to love and serve your husband. Husbands are to do the same for their wives, but that’s for a different post. If your husband really likes homemade bread, maybe you could make it for him. But don’t make homemade bread simply because you see other moms posting pictures of their homemade bread on Facebook.
Love your kids. Your calling as mom is to love your kids and teach them to follow the Lord. They don’t need to know Latin by age six. If they do, more power to you. But that’s a bonus, not part of the job description. Your job is simply to love your kids with all your exhausted heart, and to teach them to love Jesus. That’s a high calling. Don’t go throwing in other, extraneous things to make your life more difficult. If you want to teach your kids to sew, great. But don’t be crushed by guilt if your kids aren’t making stylish blazers by the age of 10.
Moms, Jesus want you to rest in him. He wants you to chill out. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. Don’t compare yourself to other moms. Don’t try to be something God hasn’t called you to be. If the mom blogs are making you feel guilty, stop reading them. Be faithful to what he has truly called you to do, and know that he is pleased with you. When your kids are resting, don’t feel guilty about watching an episode of “Lost”, or whatever your favorite show may happen to be.
Love God, love your husband, love your kids. Keep it simple and chill out.
Most mothers plan to make delightful memories with their children. They usually have good – correction- great intentions. But I must confess, memories of my short temper or selfish heart haunt me and my good intentions can go unrealized.
I ask for God’s strength to flow through my limbs making me His hands and feet. I ask for this because it does not come naturally. I have no love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness or self-control outside of that given to me by God.
I know this pleases Him. I know He will grant my request. I didn’t know how hard it would be.
I wake to the sound of the toilet flushing. My seven-year-old early riser is wide awake. I lie in bed trying to decide if I should get up or drift back into dreamland when wet sloshing and splashing abounds.
I run into the bathroom to find my daughter staring down the plunger as if debating her course of action. Water seeps over the toilet rim and spills onto the floor as she deliberates the wisdom in trying to fix this herself. Her wide eyes turn to me and she calmly shrugs her shoulders and says, “I don’t know why.”
With blurry vision I splash my way forward and begin this Monday dancing with the plunger.
We complete our morning routine and I drop my oldest two off at school. My youngest and I stop by the grocery store. Upon our return home I open the van door and my shopping bag hits the pavement cracking six of my twelve eggs. Irritation rises threatening to dictate my response and sour my morning.
Deep breaths.
I salvage the six beaten and bruised eggs aware of my three-year-old son watching my every move. I announce with false enthusiasm we are baking today.
Six broken eggs become two loaves of banana bread and twenty-four cupcakes. I stir the batter as God stirs up my beaten and bruised heart.
Good morning God. I‘m listening.
Yes, it is a good morning. I have a husband who loves me, three beautiful children who regularly wake with happy faces and I serve a Lord who never leaves me. Yes, a good morning indeed.
We can choose to allow our day to unfold by chance and let circumstance shape our attitude or we can actively participate in our day and with God’s help give thanks in everything – including cracked eggs.
Thank you God for the early start that allowed me a few moments of quiet before You (albeit the sounds of plunging filled the air). Thank you for the presence of mind to share a hug with my daughter and whisper assurances that she did nothing wrong. Thank you for the unexpected motivation to bake and for the opportunity to model self-control to my son.
From the adoption of our children to our move across the country and back I’ve learned life rarely unfolds according to my plans. But God has a better plan and He is moving the pieces of my life into place so He can accomplish His will in me. No, I don’t believe He caused my eggs to break or for the toilet to overflow. But I do believe Him when he says He can use all things for my good and His glory – including cracked eggs.
God worked through my hands today. God guided my feet today. He is shaping me into the image of His Son and in the process He is making me a better mother.
He helped me make good on my good – correction – great intentions.
Sarah lives in Raleigh, North Carolina with her husband, Jason, her four boys and her baby girl. She is really disorganized, she doesn’t make her bed, and she yells at her kids too much. She don’t garden, sew, craft, or read – so you’ll rarely find anything about those topics on her blog. She doesn’t do so many things, so when you read her stories, look at her photos, and bookmark her recipes, she hopes you’ll see a girl who shares what she does well, but is hopelessly flawed in many other ways.
